Things I do socially now I use a wheelchair
- if I need to stop somewhere or am waiting for someone to arrive, I overact the fact that I am waiting - I find a corner or pillar, fiddle with my phone and avoid eye contact. This is to stop people from 'helping'. If I don't make it completely obvious I am waiting then numerous people ask if I need help whilst the rest stare and wonder if they should.
- when people push each other out of my way and make me feel like a car I intentionally slow down to make a point that I was not and did not need to get past.
- if I am no more in the way than any walking person (usually in a shop), I do not preemptively move and instead wait for the person to say 'excuse me'. Once they have attempted to climb over me they might realise they simply had to treat me like a normal human being.
- when adults pull children away from me if they show the faintest bit if interest in my presence I ignore the adult and flash my lights. At best the adult might realise the child is intrigued and not ignorant, at the minimum the child will learn that you can interact with disabled people - or I will just piss their parents off.
- when kids in buggies stare at my chair I make a comment (to adults and child) about how mine differs from theirs in size, colour and that it has a joystick. It's nice to see the penny drop on adults faces as they realise the real reason the child is staring.
- drive forwards if someone leans on my chair
Things I wish I would do
- approach the adults who pull their children out of the way when I am nowhere near. Let them know that they are teaching their child that disability is something to be feared and that it makes me feel like a monster.
- drive in to the backs of boyfriends who yank their girlfriends arms to move them away from me. Alternatively, point out that 'protecting' your partner using physical aggression against them is not OK...you are not being a gentleman, you are being a douche.
- assertively tell people not to lean on/against my wheelchair back/handlebars/headrest - particularly on the tube. Just because I am disabled doesn't mean I am immune to being mugged. You could have your hands in my bag for all I know. Similarly, just because I am sitting down doesn't make it ok to approach me from behind by grabbing my shoulder. A hello would suffice.
- violently 'spasm' at the next person who tries to use me and my wheelchair as an arm/leg/newspaper rest.
